Ryan Wayne Hoyos: The Start of a Great Adventure, WEEK 1

DAY 2: Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

The first day of the recovery process, but we were so relieved that it was recovery, and not new problems. It was a very hard day for me physically. I couldn't stand, sit up, or move by myself. That is a very humbling position to be in. I was still hooked up to multiple IV's, and being checked on what seemed like every 30 minutes to make sure my vitals were ok. Since I had lost so much blood, my body was running a fever, my blood pressure was low, and my pulse was very high. Not good conditions for recovery from emergency surgery. Not to mention how emotionally worried I was for my little baby.

The day seemed to go by in one very long blur. I began breast pumping for the first time to help make my milk come in when Ryan was ready for it. I also got permission from the doctor to eat solid foods. That was such a blessing. After having nothing but jell-o and apple juice for 48 hours, I was famished. Three square meals that day really helped to improve my red blood cell count.

The best part of the day was when we went down to the NICU to check on Ryan. He was still completely covered in tubes and IV's, but I got permission to hold him for the first time. We had to be very careful, and it seemed almost impossible due to everything he was hooked up to. However, holding that sweet, beautiful boy in my arms was a treasure. I talked to him, sang, to him, and told him how much I loved him. I told him no matter how things turned out physically, we would love him forever as our own.

Our First Family Photo

The Hoyos Family: Brenton, Katie, and Ryan

We spent a fair amount of time discussing things with doctors. It frustrated me how pessimistic everyone was. Whenever Ryan would do something normal for a little baby, and Brenton and I got all excited, someone had to bring their little black raincloud over and say phrases such as, "Well, that doesn't mean he won't have problems later on," or "don't get too excited, now." I was frustrated to no end because of that. With my body surging with hormones, any time a doctor or nurse said something like that my eyes filled with tears.

That evening when I was helped into bed I reached my breaking point physically. I was so beat down that I couldn't even stand up straight. I was hunched over like an 80-year-old woman with osteoporosis. I sobbed into the bed wondering if I'd ever be normal again, and terrified at the thought that I'd never be well enough to take care of my baby. I remember praying myself to sleep begging for help.

Day 3: Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

I started the day by being able to walk to the bathroom by myself, and brush my teeth while standing up straight. I've never been so happy for brushing my teeth. I was also able to get a shower with the help of a bench, but I still did it. It helped me realize that even though the recovery was going to be long, I would recover. It gave me hope. Not just hope in myself physically, but spiritually and emotionally. It gave me hope for my son, Ryan, to recover also. Both of us would just have to take things one day at a time, but we were going to get there.

I don't remember much else from the day, except for wonderful visits from dear friends and several deliveries of flowers to my room. Any time a nurse would come in they'd call my room the flower shop. One of the nurses commented, "You know I've worked here for over 10 years, and I've never seen a room with this many flowers." It made me feel better to see their beautiful blossoms and sweet scent. I was so grateful to have them, but I also remember thinking that I'd trade them in a second to have my little boy in the room with me instead. I missed him every second.

Ryan began making steady progress that day. He was still on all kinds of meds, but he was doing normal baby things. He could suck on a binky, turn his head, and kept trying to pull the oxygen tube out of his nose. It made me so happy to see that he was aware enough to do those things as they were signs of comprehension and strong motor skills.

Snugging a camo blankie. What a guy.

Daddy talking to Ryan

The best part of the day was in the evening. I was resting in my room, and Brenton went down to check on little Ry-guy. About 20 minutes later he rushed into the room to show me a video he took on his cell phone. There was Ryan, wide awake, and completely alert. At one part I heard Brenton say on the video, "Can you say hi to Mommy?" and then I watched my sweet little baby wave his hand at the camera. I all but jumped into my wheel chair as we raced down to the NICU so I could see my baby. There he was, still wide awake. I talked to him, and sang him lullabies as happy tears filled my eyes. I knew that my little boy was going to be just fine. I knew it.

Day 4: Thursday, August 26th, 2010

I was able to get out of bed by myself that morning. It was a slow process, but I did it without help. I also got a shower standing up almost the entire time. Another great achievement. I even walked down the hallway to the NICU twice! The doctors rewarded my progress by taking all my IV's out, and having me just take pills for the pain. I was a free woman!

The most exciting part of the day was being able to hold Ryan again. This time, they let me hold him for over an hour. I asked them if we could do some skin-to-skin contact, to help my milk to come in as I was still having a hard time with that. The nurse surprisingly agreed. It felt so good to hold my baby that close. Little Ryan was so adorable. He quickly turned his whole body so that every inch of skin he could possibly reach he was pressed against. He even maneuvered his little feet so that both would be touching my tummy. He needed this time just as much as I did. We kissed and cuddled, and I dang to him again. Brenton told him stories. We had some wonderful family time just the three of us in that small, curtained off section of the NICU. Because of that little session, I was able to pump a little bottle of colostrum for Ryan. I was so proud!

Day 5: Friday, August 27th, 2010

Well, this was the day Mommy had to be discharged to go home. I was still very weak, and terrified about going home to a split-level duplex with lots of stairs. The thought of tackling several stairs terrified me. But insurance only covered 96 hours in the hospital after a c-section, so home I had to go.

I stayed at the hospital until around 4 o'clock. Before leaving, they removed the staples in my tummy and replaced them with adhesive strips. Brenton packed up all my things and flowers, ran it all home, and then came back to get me.

The hardest part was going to the NICU to say goodbye to Ryan. I knew that I would see him again soon, but it was devastating to see all my dreams of leaving the hospital with my sweet little one in my arms come to a skidding halt. To make things worse, his nurse for the day was a complete jerk to us, and all I wanted to do was snatch my baby away from the terrible place with all the wires and tubes. It broke my heart that I couldn't take care of my own baby, but had to leave him in the hands of someone so mean.

That drive home from the hospital was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I sobbed and sobbed, worrying every second how Ryan was doing. When we got home, Brenton tried everything he could to keep me comfortable. We had to tell ourselves it could be so much worse. We still had our baby, he was making great progress, he was going to make a full recovery. We had much to be grateful for. I knew that. I had to cling to the faith of the many people praying for us, and remember that all would be well.

Day 6: Saturday, August 28th, 2010

We went to the hospital hoping that I would be able to start feeding Ryan that day, but were disappointed. they told us he needed to go another day. I watched him rooting on his hand, fussing because he was hungry, and all he was getting was sugar water and an IV of vitamins. It was so hard to watch him cry because he was hungry, and I couldn't do anything about it but hold his hand and sing to him. I wondered how much longer this nightmare was going to have to be.

Day 7: Sunday, August 29th, 2010

Finally, a good day. We called the NICU to find out what time we could visit Ryan, and they informed us that I could begin to nurse him that day. I was so excited! We arrived at the NICU at 1:00, and they got Ryan all ready to go. I was nervous because I'd never done this before, and there was no lactation consultant there to help me. I had read all the paperwork on how to breastfeed the night before, and so I hoped everything would work out well. Ryan was such a champ. He clamped right down and latched on the first try. I was so proud of him! After his first feed, we waited the three hours until it was time for his next one. Again, he latched on and fed well. What a guy! I had finally done something for my little boy. For the first time, I left the hospital happy.

And that's how our first week went. We were coming out of the woods. Our baby was making daily progress, as was I. While it was a very rough week, and not how I pictured the postpartum recovery after delivering my first child, we knew he was going to be just fine, and that gave us hope. If there's one thing I learned from this week, it was to always keep that hope, because Heavenly Father always keeps his promises.