Being Belle

As most of you know, I have been obsessed with Beauty and the Beast since my 5th birthday when my mom took me out on a special date, just me and her, to see the beloved Disney classic. I can still remember how awed I was when all the candles lit up in a giant chorus line during "Be Our Guest," and how exciting it was to watch it with my mother. It was so magical, and from that day on I knew who I wanted to be.

As the years went by I began collecting just about everything I could possibly get my hands on that had anything to do with Beauty and the Beast. The Christmas I turned six my mom sewed me my very own Belle dress, and I wore it every single day when I came home from school. I remember one time I was eating chocolate pudding in it, and spilled some on the left sleeve, leaving a permanent brown stain on the golden polyester. I treasured that dress because in my mind it truly defined who I was: a beautiful princess with long brown hair, and chocolaty brown eyes. I was Princess Katiebelle. Rider of imaginary horses named Philippe, and reader of books. I could conquer anything, and no beastly man was going to tell me what to do! I used to tell my parents, "When I grow up and go to dances I'm going to tell the boys, 'If you want to dance with a pretty girl, no beggars!'" Princesses never hang down their heads, and neither would I!

When it was time for my first high school prom there was no question in my mind of what my dress was going to look like. I had been devastated the year I turned 11 and could no longer wear my beautiful gold dress. So in the early spring of my junior year Mom took me out on a special date, just me and her, to buy fabric to make a new Belle dress. We scoured the rows and rows of fabric until we found the perfect combination, and then brought it to a seamstress to make my caparison dreams come true.

And then before I knew it I was in college, and looking for a way to make some extra cash without having to spend too much time doing it. I sat brainstorming, and then of course, there was the answer right in front of me. I would get paid to be myself. So I started entertaining little girls' birthday parties as Princess Belle. I can't tell you how amazing it is to walk into a room full of little girls and see their faces light up in delight because you are there. It still makes me tear up a little to think of their sweet hands reaching up to touch my face and to hear them exclaim, "I can't believe it's really you!" It often surprised me when at the end of the party the parents would hand me a check. I'd think, "Oh yeah! This is my job!"

I sit here reminiscing about all of this because today we had a big costume party at my work. Students and parents brought in their children to go trick-or-treating around the building. I wore my beautiful, sparkling Belle dress and greeted little princesses all over again. It was such a joy. As I watched them skipping up and down the halls in their shiny dresses, I could almost see a spunky, 5-year-old girl with two long brown, braided pig-tails, and chocolaty brown eyes. I imagined her rushing straight up at me with a look that said, "I'm Princess Katiebelle. Kindergartner. Rider of imaginary horses and reader of books!"

Angels Round About You

It's been about a week and a half since I came down with the dreaded swine flu, and it was no picnic. I'm back at work and feeling much better, but I still get tired very easily. These past few days at work I've had to hit the ground running to make up for the days I missed, and it's been a struggle, but I've also noticed some wonderful blessings that have helped me get through the particularly rough patches. For me, it has been the fulfillment of the scripture in D&C 84:88 which reads, "And my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you to bear you up."

First, it's been a miracle that Brenton hasn't gotten sick. After a week's worth of being my helpful nurse, he hasn't had a fever or any symptoms of the highly contagious virus. He was so sweet and took care of meals, dishes, cleaning the apartment, and even took me to the movies last Friday to celebrate when my fever finally broke, meaning I was no longer contagious. Saturday marked the one-year anniversary of the day we got engaged, and we celebrated with a bottle of sparkling cider and the last two "Hoyos Oreos" we'd frozen from our wedding reception.

Next, I have been so blessed by my family, friends, and good members of the ward. Last Thursday a sister from my Relief Society walked over a large package to my apartment so I didn't have to go and get it myself from the office. It may have seemed like a simple thing to her, but it meant so much to me to not have to go and get it when I felt so miserable. The package was from my sister, Liz, containing business clothes for me to wear to work. It was a thoughtful gesture that came just when I needed it. Then on Monday, my first day back from being sick, I had a particularly hard day. I came home during my lunch break to eat a quick sandwich and saw a card from my mother informing me that she was sending me two magazine subscriptions. I felt tears spill over my cheeks just seeing my angel mother's handwriting that I love so much. I'm always amazed at how my family knows just when I need help, even when they're on the other side of the country.

Finally, I am so blessed to have a worthy husband who can give me priesthood blessings whenever I need them. After work on Monday I knew that the next few months at my job were going to be very stressful. I asked my husband for a blessing of comfort to know that I would make it through the difficult weeks ahead and feel confident in my abilities. That powerful blessing has made all the difference this week. The very next day I felt like my burdens were lighter. Truly, I felt that there was another person next to me helping me stay calm, focused, and confident. The only other time I've felt that way was on May 10th, 2005 when I was taking my AP Psychology exam. I didn't know why there were angels helping take that exam until afterwards, when I came home to find our house taped off and gutted out from a fire that morning. Both of these experiences though have taught me that angels really do watch over us. Often times I like to think that the ones helping me are my ancestors, who take a few minutes of their time to help their great, great, great, great granddaughter/niece. Either way, I know they are real, and it helps me feel connected to them when I do temple work.

The Lord does love us, and most of the time the way He sends help to us is through His servants. I'm grateful for the angels in my life, whether on this side of the veil or the other, they are a continuous strength to me.

Even Hidden Treasures

I've told myself that I don't want another month to go by without putting down a new blog post. So while my husband is at Priesthood session I thought I'd take some time to tell you about the latest things I've learned in my exciting life.

For one thing, I am so grateful to have a job. The nation's current events have made this task somewhat of a challenge for anyone in the unemployed market. When my husband and I sat down and recognized the very real necessity that I find employment, I felt for perhaps the first time in my life the stress and anxiety of being poor. If my family was poor growing up, I never knew about it, because my parents were so wonderful at budgeting and keeping us happy. Now as newlyweds, Brenton and I are on our own in that department, and like so many newlyweds before us, are realizing how very expensive it is to live. We knew the day would come when we would discover that, but as I've said before, there is no substitute for experience.

With that being said, I knew that the Lord would bless us because we were paying our tithing and fast offerings, and doing everything we could to remain worthy of His help. Each week while we went to the temple, I would leave that sacred building knowing that all would be well. Then while Brenton was in class, I would research jobs, send in applications, and practice interview questions in the mirror.

At last the return phone call arrived for me to be interviewed by a potential employer. Although it went well, once I had left the building all the fears and anxieties returned for the next week as I waited to hear back and still continued to search for other jobs. While I felt comfort from the Holy Ghost, I was still nervous and apprehensive. But the Lord did hear my prayers, and I was offered the position. Not only that but it's a position that addresses all the needs Brenton and I were praying so earnestly for. It is also a job that I can truly take pride in. I believe in what I'm doing there, and what the company stands for.

I was expecting this great answer to my prayers to fill the needs that I hoped it would. However, I have been continually surprised at how it is answering my other prayers, too. It often makes me think of the scripture in D&C 89:19 "And [he] shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures." Upon arriving back in Utah I felt out of place, almost like I had taken a step backwards for getting a degree, because my whole world was still back at school. This new job has given me a place where I feel comfortable, and proud of my accomplishments. I'm learning a great deal about self reliance, and several tasks in my training are helping me to solve other problems in my life outside the job. I have a reason to get up each morning, eat a decent breakfast, and I have somewhere to be each day. It has given me confidence because I feel needed. My husband is grateful for the efforts I'm making for our family, and we are more affectionate and kind to each other at home. I am discovering that my efforts in school and the dozens of humanities classes I took are a real asset to my job, and I'm grateful I chose that major. I am eating better, sleeping better, and finding great self-fulfillment, putting the stress off my husband to try and fill that need. All of these things are blessings that I was not expecting to receive from work. They are the fulfillment of that scripture for my life. They are my hidden treasures.

Most often, the greatest blessings in life require us to take a step in the dark before the Lord turns on the light. That is what faith is. It is obedience and work combined with a trust that the Lord's plan is far better than our own. It does require "all that we can do," in my case researching jobs, applying, practicing, etc. but then the final step is one of faith and trust. And when the Lord turns on the light revealing the next step in the path it is one of glorious surprise: our hidden treasures! He has so much more in store for us than we could ever have produced on our own, and I try to remember that when things still get stressful in my life; particularly at work when I'm trying my hardest to grasp every new concept in training.

I know that my Heavenly Father listens to my prayers. I know that He answers every single one in a time frame that works with His will, and not mine. I know that His will is infinitely better for me and for my family. I know He hears and loves me, and I know that there is no other way to find greater happiness than by following His path, for that is when the hidden treasures are found.

Mormon Messages

Recently, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has created a channel on Youtube entitled, "Mormon Messages." It is a collection of stories and short videos focusing on the lives of different members of the church and their experiences. The stories range from the importance of a good father, to recovery stories from 9/11 survivors, to testimonies of Jesus Christ. I hadn't really taken the time to view any of them when they first came out, but last night Brenton and I spent about two hours watching all of them and being emotionally moved with every story.

These short clips answer questions that many of us ponder during our lives. How do I overcome adversity? Why does life often take an unexpected turn? Are Mormons Christian? Is my Heavenly Father aware of me? Why do Mormons build temples? Each of the clips focus on a different member of the church, and how they have received answers to these questions. Each one is beautifully simple, yet very powerful. I was touched by all the testimonies of the strong and faithful people in this world, and how the love of the Savior reaches out to all of us.

I encourage all of you to take some time out from your day and view some of these messages. They are all touching and worth the few minutes it takes from your day. If you still have questions, feel free to visit www.mormon.org, where you can ask any question you would like through the phone or internet, and you can chat with a live administrator, or search frequently asked questions with video clip responses. You might be surprised by what you learn.

I know this church is true. I know that it has brought more happiness into my life than anything else possibly could. I know that this life is focused around families. I know that families can last forever through the blessings of the temple. I know that Jesus Christ is real, alive, and is aware of me. I know that each one of us can discover these truths for ourselves, and that Heavenly Father loves each of us enough to take the time to give a personal witness to all that He lives, and so does his Son.

These brief messages can fill your day with a bit more sunshine than you had before. You can access them by going to http://www.youtube.com/user/mormonmessages

I Just Felt Like It

So, awhile back everyone's list of 25 things about themselves was the "in" thing on Facebook, and I wrote mine, but only sent it to people as a private message. I figured it would be pretty harmless to post on here, because you don't have to read if it you don't want to. So here goes.

1. Even when I've pretended not to believe it, or when I was at my lowest points in self-esteem, I have always believed that I am pretty.
2. I have been afraid of the dark my whole life until just a few months ago, when I decided once and for all that I cannot keep reliving horrific memories of my past every time the lights go off. Since then I don't even flinch when a bulb burns out. I'm really proud of myself.
3. I still play pretend games almost every day. Whether I'm an undercover spy or America's princess, you can bet that when you see me I'm imagining my life in some fantastic, dramatic plot. Sometimes it's the only way I can get through the mundane tasks of the day.
4. I collect paper dolls. I have over 100 sets. Not only do I collect them, but I cut them out and play with them. In fact, some day I want to spread them ALL out and play with them, or at least take a picture. Most likely this will need to take place in a stake center cultural hall in order to have enough room.
5. Even though my siblings would beg to differ, I always felt singled out in my family as I grew up. When I was little, I was so unlike my two older sisters that my parents would buy them matching outfits and I would get something completely different. My two little brothers always played together, so much of my childhood was spent playing alone. Maybe that's why I have always loved the spotlight and attention.
6. I don't think missionary work is hard. I am amazed at how many excuses good church members can come up with to avoid preaching the gospel when it is so easy. Makes me slightly irritated.
7. While I like going to sports events and have a good time, if someone were to say, "Katie, I don't really want to go to the game tonight," I wouldn't shed a tear.
8. I love to read. I hate borrowing books or getting them from the library. If I'm going to read it, it's mine, and I have to read it with a pencil in hand so I can make notes and underline passages that I like.
9. I have a complete arsenal of clothing, and somehow I can still wake up in the morning feeling like I have nothing to wear. I still don't know why. It's helping my dear husband gain more patience.
10. In high school some people called me a poser because I liked dressing up in different fashion cliques to get a glimpse at other people's lives. It was fascinating to me. Weird, I know.
11. I am one heck of a salesman. I could sell you a toothpick and not only sell it, but have you wondering how you ever lived without it.
12. I have a hard time controlling my emotions. When I'm sad, the whole world knows it. When I'm irritated, happy, bored, testy, elated, you can bet the whole world knows it. That's right. The WHOLE WORLD.
13. I'm pretty sure I could eat my body weight in marzipan and avocados. Not together!!!!! But seriously, they're both amazing.
14. I'm pretty much the girliest girl I've ever met. I also realized a long time ago that there are things about me that will always remain childlike, and I don't see that as a weakness by any means.
15. I can remember every time a person has ever yelled at me, and every single time I have cried. No matter who they were, no matter where I was, no matter if they were a jerk or someone I dearly loved. It has taught me that I will never yell at my children. I'll set up an intercom system in the house if I have to.
16. I think my hair is beautiful, but I hate the hairline I inherited from my mom's side. It dips way back on the sides so every time I pull my hair back it looks like I'm balding slightly. I call them the holes in my head.
17. Secretly, I have always loved being short. Who wouldn't want to always be front and center? Besides, I can wear whatever shoes I want and it's never a problem.
18. I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. I know that people can change. I believe in that. I have seen it happen in my own life and the lives of many others. Because of this I try my best to always see the good in people.
19. I think meatloaf should be illegal. Blech....
20. If I was a millionaire, I would always have fresh flowers in my home, and every Friday I would dress up, go out to dinner and never order water as my drink, and then either go out dancing or see a show.
21. I am very talented at any musical instrument I pick up, but can never seem to get above 90% in virtuosity. And yet it always bothers me when I only place 2nd or 3rd.
22. I don't like cooking, but I think that's only because I'm still inexperienced. I do however enjoy baking. It always fascinates me to put several funny looking ingredients into a big pan, put it in the oven and pull out something extraordinary.
23. I know that McDonald's is falling out of favor with the world, but I don't think there will ever be a day when I say, "No thanks. I don't really want a BigMac."
24. I think good surprises are the greatest things in the whole world.
25. Marrying Brenton was the best decision I've ever made, and I'm still daily discovering new reasons why he is so perfect for me. I'm amazed that he can still help me grow each day, and that I'm continually becoming the best possible version of myself from being around him.

And that's that!

The Beginning of 'Happily Ever After'

Can it really be three months since my last post? I often put in my journal when it's been a long time since I've written that it's hard to put my life on hold in order to write about it. However, the last time I posted an entry I was still engaged, and now I'm a married woman! It's still so exciting for me to write down "Katie Hoyos" on something.

I felt so prepared for marriage. and I'm very grateful for everything I did to plan and be ready for such a big step, but as my parents have often told me, there's no amount of preparation that can compensate for experience. Next week we will have been married for two months. Two months! It's funny, because I feel like I've been married my whole life. It's such a big life change in every possible way, that I almost can't remember what it was like to not be married.

I have found in just these very few months that marriage, just as all things in life, is what you make of it. Only this time it takes three people. Brenton and I are so wonderfully happy because we work our tails off every single day for each other and for the Lord. We're happy because we want to be. I'm amazed each day that if I'm selfish it effects him, too. Suddenly I start to think about everything in marriage that's difficult, and all the new responsibilities we now both have and I think, "what was I getting myself into?" But then I have to take a step back and know that this was the most important decision in my life, but that I made it. I chose to marry him, and when I did I knew the sacrifice it would take. Then with a bit of an attitude adjustment, I remember that we're in this together and I forget myself. Suddenly everything is better. I'm happy, and I can't imagine life without my sweetheart with me.

It's a fun place to be at the beginning of the phrase, "Happily Ever After," and I'm even now recognizing that it remains 'ever after' just so long as both of us recognize that our choices have a great impact on each other. I can't quite express how wonderful it is to pray together, to have family scripture study and Family Home Evening together. Being able to recognize that we are a family and we make decisions together is such a great blessing. And by putting the commandments first, knowing that our first priority is to the Lord gives us the assurance that we will make it. Not just now, but "ever after."

Why I'm Getting Married in the Temple

As I have been conversing with several of my friends about my upcoming marriage, often the topic of conversation turns to where the wedding will be taking place, and why I'm choosing to be married there. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have always made the conscious decision to get married in the temple. It is not just because it is the tradition of LDS culture, or because it is expected of me by my family. I am choosing to be married in a Latter-day saint temple because it will allow me to be sealed to Brenton not just until "death do us part," but for "time and all eternity."

There is no ordinance in the church more sacred than that of eternal marriage. By marrying Brenton in the Lord's Holy house, we have the opportunity to be together forever. Yes, forever.I can't think of a more beautiful promise. It is one that is binding on earth and in heaven. In addition, every child that we have the privilege of having on this earth will also be sealed to us. As soon as he or she takes their first breath, they are ours forever. There is no other ordinance that can do this other than the sealing ordinance performed in the sacred and holy temple. That is why on our wedding announcements we have the quote from "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" which states, "The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." There is no other way but through the temple that this can happen. It is not merely a beautiful building, but an essential ordinance.

To me, heaven would not be heaven without my family and my sweetheart. I cannot fathom a life of eternal joy and happiness if they weren't there. I know that the only way for them to be there with me is through the temple of our Heavenly Father. Because my own mother and father chose to be sealed in the temple, I know that I will always be with them so long as I keep the Lord's commandments and endure to the end. Now Brenton and I are making that same choice so that our children will have the same blessings. It is all part of our loving Heavenly Father's plan for us. This is why as a member of the church I believe so strongly in the family. The times that I am with Brenton and my family are the closest to heaven that I have ever felt.

I know that temples are the Lord's house on this earth. I know that families can be together forever, but it requires more than just a wedding certificate. It requires the sealing ordinance that can only be performed in the holy temple. It is through the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. I know that He suffered for each one of us because He loves us. I know that the only way to return to Him is through His gospel. While His truth is made manifest throughout the world, the fullness of its glorious message is found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know this to be true. I am so grateful for this knowledge and the blessing it has been in my life. I love my Savior, and I love His plan. It truly is the plan of happiness, and it is through that plan that I really can live happily ever after through the eternities with my husband and family.