It's all Pretend, or is it?

It's Sunday afternoon, Ryan's happily watching Baby Einstein while pulling all the diapers out the box, Brenton is still finishing up meetings for his calling at church, and I'm sitting here writing a blog post instead of making dinner. Yep, sounds like a typical Sunday afternoon. Don't worry, I'll get around to dinner. I always do, I'm just not feeling it right now.

A few updates on my fascinating and wonderful life. First, Ryan is now walking everywhere like a pro. He still can't pull himself up without the help from a nearby piece of furniture, but once he's standing he takes off like a bullet. I'm bursting with pride every time he does it.  Next, My second plateau of weight-loss has broken, and the pounds are slowly coming off again. I'm in this limbo stage where my current clothes are too big, but my pre-pregnancy ones are still too small. Still, I can't complain when I step on the scale in the morning and see the number has decreased from the week before.

During these last few weeks of Summer Brenton and I will be going to Arizona for a few days to see one of my dear friends get married. Not to mention my best friend is coming along with us, and we will also get to visit some of Brenton's family while down there. I also have two more Owlz games that I get to sing the National Anthem for, Brenton's birthday is this week, and Ryan's just a few more weeks after that. I have a feeling August is going to go by pretty quickly. I'm going to try and squeeze in a few more trips to Seven Peaks Waterpark, too.

Ok, updating's over. Now to get to the title of my post. Since I was a little girl I have always played pretend games. Even as a two-year-old, I'd pretend my fingers were people and have them go to the playground, pool, or even church, all in my head. I can remember when I was around six or seven, trying to sit quietly through the first hour of church in the chapel, pretending I was 12-inches tall and swinging from the chandeliers up above me.

As I got older, most of my pretend games were influenced by whatever movie I'd seen the weekend before. In third grade, I saw "Undercover Blues" for the first time, and for weeks after pretended both of my parents were secret agents and taught me everything they knew. I'd make up all kinds of secret spy gadgets and run around the backyard using them. With all my fun games and pretending, the one I imagined most often was of course, being a princess. I don't think I ever really let that one go, even when I was playing a different pretend game.

Now at this point, most people begin to grow up and stop playing pretend games. They helped spark the imagination as a kid, but afterwards there's no longer a need for them. Well I beg to differ. For those who know me well, or even those who don't and all you've read is my blogger profile, I'm a princess. Seriously. I never gave that pretend game up. In college, I'd pretend I was leaving my castle to go off and learn abroad. I would study hard because I'd pretend that an entire court was counting on me to do my best. As I dated, I knew that I was being sought after because I was a princess who would only settle for the best. I knew when I met Brenton that he was the prince for me. We had quite the fairy tale courtship and wedding. It was perfect.

Now at this point some of you may think I'm nuts, but let me tell you what a difference this pretend game has made in my life. The truth is it's not that far from reality. I am a noble daughter of God: a true princess. If I do all I can to live worthy of that title, I will be welcomed home in the royal courts on high. When I wake up in the morning, I think about how important it is that I live up to that title. I hold my head up a little higher, and try to remember all the things that set a princess apart. It improves my self-esteem, my attitude, and my actions. It also brings out my feminine side, which I've always loved. It's easier to be charming and graceful when you're pretending to be a princess getting all dressed up to welcome her prince charming home.

So if you're having a tough day and can't seem to get into the right mood, try pretending to be a princess. Think of everything you would have to do to live up to that title, and don't forget all the fun and frills along the way. That's one of the best parts of being a princess. Try it, and suddenly you'll remember who you are, and all the potential you have. It's always worked for me!

The Belles on Christmas Day

This was my first Christmas not spent with my parents. Last year Brenton and I spent our first Christmas together in VA, but with the addition of little Ryan, we decided to have a nice, quiet Christmas in our own home. It was a new experience combining traditions from two families into one, but we created a lovely holiday that fits our new family perfectly.

On Christmas Eve, we dressed up, made a fancy dinner that my family growing up used to make on Christmas Day, and had a small family devotional dedicated to the Savior. We read the scriptures, sang hymns and Christmas carols, and bore our testimonies about Jesus Christ. Afterwards, we gave each other the two gifts that we handmade. Then we put Ryan to bed and Brenton and I watched the George C. Scott version of "A Christmas Carol."

Christmas morning, we woke up and showed Ryan that Santa had visited our house. It was fun to show him different presents, and then give gifts to each other, too. Brenton's theme for me was definitely Beauty and the Beast. He got me several new Belle items. One of them was a Belle figurine on a carousel horse. Another was a Beast and Belle trinket box. Then there was a new Belle barbie doll with several outfits. He even found a Belle Christmas ornament that I didn't have (an impressive feat, believe me). By the time all the presents had been opened, I was surrounded by Belles. It was wonderful!

We enjoyed the rest of our day together, Hoyos style. We watched Christmas movies, played with Ryan and his toys, and munched on finger foods. It was a lovely day.

Now it's a new year, and I'm excited to see what it brings for us. 2010 was definitely an adventure, and I'm sure Ryan will make 2011 just as exciting. Like most new beginnings, I've taken time to ponder on all the blessings we've received during this past year. As I've sat rocking our baby to sleep, I've shed many a grateful tear over the fact that both he and I are alive, healthy, and happy. Brenton is doing well in school with a major he loves, and we have a lovely home that fits our budget. Both of us are working to lose weight. Brenton has a great job that allows me to stay home watching Ryan, and I'm starting an online crocheting business next week. I have so much to be grateful for.

39 Weeks, Visit from Dad, and a Lovely Lunch Date

Well, here's a quick overview of my past week. For starters, it was odd to wake up each day and not go into work. However, I was so grateful for the much needed rest. Until little Ry-guy gets here, I've told myself that no matter what I'm up to, whenever I feel the urge to take a nap, I will. For the next 20-some-odd years I will no longer have that luxury, so I think I have every right to take advantage of it for a few short weeks. Since I'm still not getting sleep at night, these naps are wonderful.

Second, on Monday Brenton and I went up to Salt Lake to visit my dad for a few hours. He was here on business. We enjoyed a quiet lunch with him and had a wonderful time visiting. I can't tell you how great it was to see my dad. I have no immediate family out here, and so I miss them often. It was a joy to simply chat together and see his smiling face. Dad brought with him a build-a-bear for Ryan that my little niece Anny made with Grandma a few weeks ago. It's adorable, complete with a full Orioles outfit, including the glove, ball, and bat. Brenton thought to name him Cal, and then Dad chimed in with the last name of "Ripbear." So cute! I can just see a future little Ryan dragging his bear by the ear saying, "Mom, I'm gonna go watch the game with Daddy and Cal Ripbear." Dad also brought me a beautiful, real rose, preserved in a glossed coating and brushed with gold. It's the most enchanting "Belle" rose that I've ever seen. It took my breath away. I didn't know you could do something like that. A real rose! Preserved forever! It' s absolutely beautiful. We're getting a bell jar to put it in so it can be just like Belle's. I love it so much. Even though it was a short visit, I was so happy we were able to see my dad. It's nice to know that even though I'm about to become a mommy, I'm still his little girl, too.

Later in the week, Brenton texted me letting me know that he was coming home for lunch that day. A surprise lunch date! Yay! I was glad he let me know ahead of time, so that I could put on something cute, do my hair, and make a tasty lunch. I decided to make it as charming as I could so I set the table all pretty, and even put sprigs of sweet basil into our glasses for the cherry lemonade. Brenton was happy that he could come home and enjoy a meal already prepared, and I was happy because I got to see him for a little bit during the day. It's nice to know that we can still celebrate the little things, and show our affection for each other on any day of the week. He's still my white knight, and I'm still his lovely lady. It was a charming break from the day.

And now it's Sunday again, which marks my 39th week of pregnancy. Ryan is just days away from arriving! I'm not sure when I'll be putting another post on here, but this just may be the last one before the little guy decides to come out. We can't wait! So be checking for when I put up pictures of our little sweetheart.

Being Belle

As most of you know, I have been obsessed with Beauty and the Beast since my 5th birthday when my mom took me out on a special date, just me and her, to see the beloved Disney classic. I can still remember how awed I was when all the candles lit up in a giant chorus line during "Be Our Guest," and how exciting it was to watch it with my mother. It was so magical, and from that day on I knew who I wanted to be.

As the years went by I began collecting just about everything I could possibly get my hands on that had anything to do with Beauty and the Beast. The Christmas I turned six my mom sewed me my very own Belle dress, and I wore it every single day when I came home from school. I remember one time I was eating chocolate pudding in it, and spilled some on the left sleeve, leaving a permanent brown stain on the golden polyester. I treasured that dress because in my mind it truly defined who I was: a beautiful princess with long brown hair, and chocolaty brown eyes. I was Princess Katiebelle. Rider of imaginary horses named Philippe, and reader of books. I could conquer anything, and no beastly man was going to tell me what to do! I used to tell my parents, "When I grow up and go to dances I'm going to tell the boys, 'If you want to dance with a pretty girl, no beggars!'" Princesses never hang down their heads, and neither would I!

When it was time for my first high school prom there was no question in my mind of what my dress was going to look like. I had been devastated the year I turned 11 and could no longer wear my beautiful gold dress. So in the early spring of my junior year Mom took me out on a special date, just me and her, to buy fabric to make a new Belle dress. We scoured the rows and rows of fabric until we found the perfect combination, and then brought it to a seamstress to make my caparison dreams come true.

And then before I knew it I was in college, and looking for a way to make some extra cash without having to spend too much time doing it. I sat brainstorming, and then of course, there was the answer right in front of me. I would get paid to be myself. So I started entertaining little girls' birthday parties as Princess Belle. I can't tell you how amazing it is to walk into a room full of little girls and see their faces light up in delight because you are there. It still makes me tear up a little to think of their sweet hands reaching up to touch my face and to hear them exclaim, "I can't believe it's really you!" It often surprised me when at the end of the party the parents would hand me a check. I'd think, "Oh yeah! This is my job!"

I sit here reminiscing about all of this because today we had a big costume party at my work. Students and parents brought in their children to go trick-or-treating around the building. I wore my beautiful, sparkling Belle dress and greeted little princesses all over again. It was such a joy. As I watched them skipping up and down the halls in their shiny dresses, I could almost see a spunky, 5-year-old girl with two long brown, braided pig-tails, and chocolaty brown eyes. I imagined her rushing straight up at me with a look that said, "I'm Princess Katiebelle. Kindergartner. Rider of imaginary horses and reader of books!"

I Just Felt Like It

So, awhile back everyone's list of 25 things about themselves was the "in" thing on Facebook, and I wrote mine, but only sent it to people as a private message. I figured it would be pretty harmless to post on here, because you don't have to read if it you don't want to. So here goes.

1. Even when I've pretended not to believe it, or when I was at my lowest points in self-esteem, I have always believed that I am pretty.
2. I have been afraid of the dark my whole life until just a few months ago, when I decided once and for all that I cannot keep reliving horrific memories of my past every time the lights go off. Since then I don't even flinch when a bulb burns out. I'm really proud of myself.
3. I still play pretend games almost every day. Whether I'm an undercover spy or America's princess, you can bet that when you see me I'm imagining my life in some fantastic, dramatic plot. Sometimes it's the only way I can get through the mundane tasks of the day.
4. I collect paper dolls. I have over 100 sets. Not only do I collect them, but I cut them out and play with them. In fact, some day I want to spread them ALL out and play with them, or at least take a picture. Most likely this will need to take place in a stake center cultural hall in order to have enough room.
5. Even though my siblings would beg to differ, I always felt singled out in my family as I grew up. When I was little, I was so unlike my two older sisters that my parents would buy them matching outfits and I would get something completely different. My two little brothers always played together, so much of my childhood was spent playing alone. Maybe that's why I have always loved the spotlight and attention.
6. I don't think missionary work is hard. I am amazed at how many excuses good church members can come up with to avoid preaching the gospel when it is so easy. Makes me slightly irritated.
7. While I like going to sports events and have a good time, if someone were to say, "Katie, I don't really want to go to the game tonight," I wouldn't shed a tear.
8. I love to read. I hate borrowing books or getting them from the library. If I'm going to read it, it's mine, and I have to read it with a pencil in hand so I can make notes and underline passages that I like.
9. I have a complete arsenal of clothing, and somehow I can still wake up in the morning feeling like I have nothing to wear. I still don't know why. It's helping my dear husband gain more patience.
10. In high school some people called me a poser because I liked dressing up in different fashion cliques to get a glimpse at other people's lives. It was fascinating to me. Weird, I know.
11. I am one heck of a salesman. I could sell you a toothpick and not only sell it, but have you wondering how you ever lived without it.
12. I have a hard time controlling my emotions. When I'm sad, the whole world knows it. When I'm irritated, happy, bored, testy, elated, you can bet the whole world knows it. That's right. The WHOLE WORLD.
13. I'm pretty sure I could eat my body weight in marzipan and avocados. Not together!!!!! But seriously, they're both amazing.
14. I'm pretty much the girliest girl I've ever met. I also realized a long time ago that there are things about me that will always remain childlike, and I don't see that as a weakness by any means.
15. I can remember every time a person has ever yelled at me, and every single time I have cried. No matter who they were, no matter where I was, no matter if they were a jerk or someone I dearly loved. It has taught me that I will never yell at my children. I'll set up an intercom system in the house if I have to.
16. I think my hair is beautiful, but I hate the hairline I inherited from my mom's side. It dips way back on the sides so every time I pull my hair back it looks like I'm balding slightly. I call them the holes in my head.
17. Secretly, I have always loved being short. Who wouldn't want to always be front and center? Besides, I can wear whatever shoes I want and it's never a problem.
18. I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. I know that people can change. I believe in that. I have seen it happen in my own life and the lives of many others. Because of this I try my best to always see the good in people.
19. I think meatloaf should be illegal. Blech....
20. If I was a millionaire, I would always have fresh flowers in my home, and every Friday I would dress up, go out to dinner and never order water as my drink, and then either go out dancing or see a show.
21. I am very talented at any musical instrument I pick up, but can never seem to get above 90% in virtuosity. And yet it always bothers me when I only place 2nd or 3rd.
22. I don't like cooking, but I think that's only because I'm still inexperienced. I do however enjoy baking. It always fascinates me to put several funny looking ingredients into a big pan, put it in the oven and pull out something extraordinary.
23. I know that McDonald's is falling out of favor with the world, but I don't think there will ever be a day when I say, "No thanks. I don't really want a BigMac."
24. I think good surprises are the greatest things in the whole world.
25. Marrying Brenton was the best decision I've ever made, and I'm still daily discovering new reasons why he is so perfect for me. I'm amazed that he can still help me grow each day, and that I'm continually becoming the best possible version of myself from being around him.

And that's that!