Can it really be three months since my last post? I often put in my journal when it's been a long time since I've written that it's hard to put my life on hold in order to write about it. However, the last time I posted an entry I was still engaged, and now I'm a married woman! It's still so exciting for me to write down "Katie Hoyos" on something.
I felt so prepared for marriage. and I'm very grateful for everything I did to plan and be ready for such a big step, but as my parents have often told me, there's no amount of preparation that can compensate for experience. Next week we will have been married for two months. Two months! It's funny, because I feel like I've been married my whole life. It's such a big life change in every possible way, that I almost can't remember what it was like to not be married.
I have found in just these very few months that marriage, just as all things in life, is what you make of it. Only this time it takes three people. Brenton and I are so wonderfully happy because we work our tails off every single day for each other and for the Lord. We're happy because we want to be. I'm amazed each day that if I'm selfish it effects him, too. Suddenly I start to think about everything in marriage that's difficult, and all the new responsibilities we now both have and I think, "what was I getting myself into?" But then I have to take a step back and know that this was the most important decision in my life, but that I made it. I chose to marry him, and when I did I knew the sacrifice it would take. Then with a bit of an attitude adjustment, I remember that we're in this together and I forget myself. Suddenly everything is better. I'm happy, and I can't imagine life without my sweetheart with me.
It's a fun place to be at the beginning of the phrase, "Happily Ever After," and I'm even now recognizing that it remains 'ever after' just so long as both of us recognize that our choices have a great impact on each other. I can't quite express how wonderful it is to pray together, to have family scripture study and Family Home Evening together. Being able to recognize that we are a family and we make decisions together is such a great blessing. And by putting the commandments first, knowing that our first priority is to the Lord gives us the assurance that we will make it. Not just now, but "ever after."
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Why I'm Getting Married in the Temple
As I have been conversing with several of my friends about my upcoming marriage, often the topic of conversation turns to where the wedding will be taking place, and why I'm choosing to be married there. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have always made the conscious decision to get married in the temple. It is not just because it is the tradition of LDS culture, or because it is expected of me by my family. I am choosing to be married in a Latter-day saint temple because it will allow me to be sealed to Brenton not just until "death do us part," but for "time and all eternity."
There is no ordinance in the church more sacred than that of eternal marriage. By marrying Brenton in the Lord's Holy house, we have the opportunity to be together forever. Yes, forever.I can't think of a more beautiful promise. It is one that is binding on earth and in heaven. In addition, every child that we have the privilege of having on this earth will also be sealed to us. As soon as he or she takes their first breath, they are ours forever. There is no other ordinance that can do this other than the sealing ordinance performed in the sacred and holy temple. That is why on our wedding announcements we have the quote from "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" which states, "The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." There is no other way but through the temple that this can happen. It is not merely a beautiful building, but an essential ordinance.
To me, heaven would not be heaven without my family and my sweetheart. I cannot fathom a life of eternal joy and happiness if they weren't there. I know that the only way for them to be there with me is through the temple of our Heavenly Father. Because my own mother and father chose to be sealed in the temple, I know that I will always be with them so long as I keep the Lord's commandments and endure to the end. Now Brenton and I are making that same choice so that our children will have the same blessings. It is all part of our loving Heavenly Father's plan for us. This is why as a member of the church I believe so strongly in the family. The times that I am with Brenton and my family are the closest to heaven that I have ever felt.
I know that temples are the Lord's house on this earth. I know that families can be together forever, but it requires more than just a wedding certificate. It requires the sealing ordinance that can only be performed in the holy temple. It is through the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. I know that He suffered for each one of us because He loves us. I know that the only way to return to Him is through His gospel. While His truth is made manifest throughout the world, the fullness of its glorious message is found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know this to be true. I am so grateful for this knowledge and the blessing it has been in my life. I love my Savior, and I love His plan. It truly is the plan of happiness, and it is through that plan that I really can live happily ever after through the eternities with my husband and family.
There is no ordinance in the church more sacred than that of eternal marriage. By marrying Brenton in the Lord's Holy house, we have the opportunity to be together forever. Yes, forever.I can't think of a more beautiful promise. It is one that is binding on earth and in heaven. In addition, every child that we have the privilege of having on this earth will also be sealed to us. As soon as he or she takes their first breath, they are ours forever. There is no other ordinance that can do this other than the sealing ordinance performed in the sacred and holy temple. That is why on our wedding announcements we have the quote from "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" which states, "The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." There is no other way but through the temple that this can happen. It is not merely a beautiful building, but an essential ordinance.
To me, heaven would not be heaven without my family and my sweetheart. I cannot fathom a life of eternal joy and happiness if they weren't there. I know that the only way for them to be there with me is through the temple of our Heavenly Father. Because my own mother and father chose to be sealed in the temple, I know that I will always be with them so long as I keep the Lord's commandments and endure to the end. Now Brenton and I are making that same choice so that our children will have the same blessings. It is all part of our loving Heavenly Father's plan for us. This is why as a member of the church I believe so strongly in the family. The times that I am with Brenton and my family are the closest to heaven that I have ever felt.
I know that temples are the Lord's house on this earth. I know that families can be together forever, but it requires more than just a wedding certificate. It requires the sealing ordinance that can only be performed in the holy temple. It is through the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. I know that He suffered for each one of us because He loves us. I know that the only way to return to Him is through His gospel. While His truth is made manifest throughout the world, the fullness of its glorious message is found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know this to be true. I am so grateful for this knowledge and the blessing it has been in my life. I love my Savior, and I love His plan. It truly is the plan of happiness, and it is through that plan that I really can live happily ever after through the eternities with my husband and family.
Monday, February 16, 2009
He Gave me Wings
It's 74 days until I get married, and to me it can't come soon enough. I didn't know I could ever be this happy. I used to dream about it in high school, but as I started college those dreams vanished and by the time I was half-way through I felt I would never have the life I imagined as a little girl.
In a previous post I wrote about an experience that gave me my testimony of Jesus Christ's infinite atonement. After that experience, I once again believed that I could have "every good thing." That doesn't mean I wouldn't be given trials along the way, but I believed my happiness would only increase as I strove to follow Christ's teachings and live worthily to receive His promised blessings. As I began to realign my life with the gospel, I remembered a quote from Sister Hinckley that she said about her husband, President Gordon B. Hinckley. She stated, "He gave me wings." I wondered if that would even be possible. I had never dated a boy that made me feel like that. I often felt my opinions were never validated, and that if I wanted to go out on a limb or try something new, it was either completely out of the question or I had to ask for permission. I began pouring over my patriarchal blessing to find information about the man I would marry if I stayed true to my covenants. I prayed that if I held true to the promises I had made with the Lord, He would give me those blessings in His own time.
November 5th, 2007 I met a boy in the library. Much like the kind and good elders of Israel I had been dating all semester, he was courteous and sweet as we struck up a friendship. We dated casually for a few weeks, and I began to see qualities in him that I had only dreamed about. Suddenly, my opinions mattered, and as I spoke about dreams and desires that I wanted, he gladly encouraged me to shoot for them. I often wondered those first few months, "Is this real? You mean, this kind of boy exists? And he's interested in me?"
As time passed we began to date steadily and I started to realize that everything in my life was better. I felt so free, like I could do anything and he would be supportive. My family was supportive, my friends were supportive. I didn't know that I could be on the same page with everyone. I had never felt so beautiful. He was so attentive to me. Everything I said mattered. Every emotion I felt was understood. For the first time, I could be myself, and since I'd never dated someone before who let me be that way, I finally learned who "myself" really was. I wanted to be my best self around him not because he expected it of me, but because I expected it of myself just from being around him. He helped me achieve goals I never thought I would reach. I watched both of us slowly become the people that we always saw in each other. It was even a physical change. I literally saw my countenance become brighter. The contrast in photos was startling. I was beginning to learn what love truly is: complete selflessness. In a word, charity.
And now I am going to be a wife! I am going to be sealed for time and all eternity. I will be able to spend the rest of forever with the person that I love most. And because we both have lived up to the qualifications of worthiness, the covenants that we will make will bind us not only to each other, but to our sweet children that we will someday have. What a magnificent promise.
I sit here and type this looking at my glittering left hand that shines with so much symbolism. As I gaze at the heart-shaped diamond with three others on each side, I see a heart that has taken flight. I now know what sweet Sister Hinckley meant when she said, "He gave me wings!"
In a previous post I wrote about an experience that gave me my testimony of Jesus Christ's infinite atonement. After that experience, I once again believed that I could have "every good thing." That doesn't mean I wouldn't be given trials along the way, but I believed my happiness would only increase as I strove to follow Christ's teachings and live worthily to receive His promised blessings. As I began to realign my life with the gospel, I remembered a quote from Sister Hinckley that she said about her husband, President Gordon B. Hinckley. She stated, "He gave me wings." I wondered if that would even be possible. I had never dated a boy that made me feel like that. I often felt my opinions were never validated, and that if I wanted to go out on a limb or try something new, it was either completely out of the question or I had to ask for permission. I began pouring over my patriarchal blessing to find information about the man I would marry if I stayed true to my covenants. I prayed that if I held true to the promises I had made with the Lord, He would give me those blessings in His own time.
November 5th, 2007 I met a boy in the library. Much like the kind and good elders of Israel I had been dating all semester, he was courteous and sweet as we struck up a friendship. We dated casually for a few weeks, and I began to see qualities in him that I had only dreamed about. Suddenly, my opinions mattered, and as I spoke about dreams and desires that I wanted, he gladly encouraged me to shoot for them. I often wondered those first few months, "Is this real? You mean, this kind of boy exists? And he's interested in me?"
As time passed we began to date steadily and I started to realize that everything in my life was better. I felt so free, like I could do anything and he would be supportive. My family was supportive, my friends were supportive. I didn't know that I could be on the same page with everyone. I had never felt so beautiful. He was so attentive to me. Everything I said mattered. Every emotion I felt was understood. For the first time, I could be myself, and since I'd never dated someone before who let me be that way, I finally learned who "myself" really was. I wanted to be my best self around him not because he expected it of me, but because I expected it of myself just from being around him. He helped me achieve goals I never thought I would reach. I watched both of us slowly become the people that we always saw in each other. It was even a physical change. I literally saw my countenance become brighter. The contrast in photos was startling. I was beginning to learn what love truly is: complete selflessness. In a word, charity.
And now I am going to be a wife! I am going to be sealed for time and all eternity. I will be able to spend the rest of forever with the person that I love most. And because we both have lived up to the qualifications of worthiness, the covenants that we will make will bind us not only to each other, but to our sweet children that we will someday have. What a magnificent promise.
I sit here and type this looking at my glittering left hand that shines with so much symbolism. As I gaze at the heart-shaped diamond with three others on each side, I see a heart that has taken flight. I now know what sweet Sister Hinckley meant when she said, "He gave me wings!"
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I Have Confidence in Me!
One of my favorite musicals of all time is "The Sound of Music." I've seen that movie countless times. In fact, as a little girl I didn't even know it was called "The Sound of Music." I grew up calling it, "Mom's favorite movie." One of the songs from the musical is entitled, "I Have Confidence." Upon first watching it's usually one of the pieces that is easily forgotten sized up against, "My Favorite Things," Sixteen Going on Seventeen," and "Climb Every Mountain." However, recently I've come to love that song and everything it stands for. Most importantly, I've learned that I too, have confidence.
I have confidence in my education. I have studied, laboured, stretched and sweat towards earning a degree that I can be proud of. Most importantly, I believe, I have learned how to learn. Because of the home I grew up in, I have always had a passion for reading, and that has fed my continuous desire to learn, even if that desire will never extend towards picking up another math or science book again. Ever.
I have confidence in my ability to appear and act professional. I've been noticing a gradual change towards appearing more mature and ready to enter an adult world. I've been slowly ditching the dozens of t-shirts in my drawers, wearing more shirts with collars or sweaters. For the past year now I've established my own business complete with a license, my own contract, references, and portfolio of contented clients. I'm learning to stand tall and speak up, even if it is to someone three times my age.
I have confidence in my charismatic personality. One of the best gifts I have been given is the ability to be pleasantly amiable. I used to think that it was just because I'm pretty, and I used it mostly to my advantage in the dating game, often going on several dates a week. Yesterday however, in a personal revelation, I realized that I have been given this gift of charity and an immense passion for life to bless others. I've always known I have a bubbly personality, but I've finally made the connection that it is a gift. I can lift others all around me in a very short amount of time. What a blessing. I am understanding more now what it means to "mourn with those that mourn, [and] comfort those that stand in need of comfort." -Mosiah 18: 9
Finally, I have confidence in my knowledge the Savior, and of his divine Atonement. I have always understood and known that Jesus Christ suffered for my sins and transgressions. I know that by coming to Him and dropping my burden at his feet I can be clean. But my true and most fervent understanding of the Atonement occurred about a year and a half ago, in July of 2007. I had reached a point in my life where I had to choose what was more important to me: The despair I felt from my consistently bad choices, or the embarrassment of confessing them and following the Lord no matter what the painful consequences might be. I remember thinking, "Nothing could be worse than the way I feel right now. I want to be healed. I've had enough." And then two very distinct phrases came into my mind. One was by Neil L. Anderson stating, "It's true isn't it? Then what else matters?" The other was from the hymn, "I Believe in Christ" stating, "I believe in Christ, so come what may." I knew that I had made my choice. I took everything I believed in and stepped into the dark, not knowing what I would have to face for my previous decisions. The transformation was miraculous. I knew the Savior suffered for my sins, but now I also knew and understood that Christ suffered for my pains too. He literally took it all away, and I felt the immense burden of my condemnation released. I am clean. Every wit. I know that all of us as children of our Heavenly Father have the ability to feel that change. I know because I have felt it believing like Alma that I was "the very vilest of sinners." Yet through Christ, I am "harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more." What has taken the place of all of that guilt and sorrow is love. And because I am filled with love, "as you can see I have Confidence in me!"
I have confidence in my education. I have studied, laboured, stretched and sweat towards earning a degree that I can be proud of. Most importantly, I believe, I have learned how to learn. Because of the home I grew up in, I have always had a passion for reading, and that has fed my continuous desire to learn, even if that desire will never extend towards picking up another math or science book again. Ever.
I have confidence in my ability to appear and act professional. I've been noticing a gradual change towards appearing more mature and ready to enter an adult world. I've been slowly ditching the dozens of t-shirts in my drawers, wearing more shirts with collars or sweaters. For the past year now I've established my own business complete with a license, my own contract, references, and portfolio of contented clients. I'm learning to stand tall and speak up, even if it is to someone three times my age.
I have confidence in my charismatic personality. One of the best gifts I have been given is the ability to be pleasantly amiable. I used to think that it was just because I'm pretty, and I used it mostly to my advantage in the dating game, often going on several dates a week. Yesterday however, in a personal revelation, I realized that I have been given this gift of charity and an immense passion for life to bless others. I've always known I have a bubbly personality, but I've finally made the connection that it is a gift. I can lift others all around me in a very short amount of time. What a blessing. I am understanding more now what it means to "mourn with those that mourn, [and] comfort those that stand in need of comfort." -Mosiah 18: 9
Finally, I have confidence in my knowledge the Savior, and of his divine Atonement. I have always understood and known that Jesus Christ suffered for my sins and transgressions. I know that by coming to Him and dropping my burden at his feet I can be clean. But my true and most fervent understanding of the Atonement occurred about a year and a half ago, in July of 2007. I had reached a point in my life where I had to choose what was more important to me: The despair I felt from my consistently bad choices, or the embarrassment of confessing them and following the Lord no matter what the painful consequences might be. I remember thinking, "Nothing could be worse than the way I feel right now. I want to be healed. I've had enough." And then two very distinct phrases came into my mind. One was by Neil L. Anderson stating, "It's true isn't it? Then what else matters?" The other was from the hymn, "I Believe in Christ" stating, "I believe in Christ, so come what may." I knew that I had made my choice. I took everything I believed in and stepped into the dark, not knowing what I would have to face for my previous decisions. The transformation was miraculous. I knew the Savior suffered for my sins, but now I also knew and understood that Christ suffered for my pains too. He literally took it all away, and I felt the immense burden of my condemnation released. I am clean. Every wit. I know that all of us as children of our Heavenly Father have the ability to feel that change. I know because I have felt it believing like Alma that I was "the very vilest of sinners." Yet through Christ, I am "harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more." What has taken the place of all of that guilt and sorrow is love. And because I am filled with love, "as you can see I have Confidence in me!"
Monday, October 27, 2008
Marriage, and Some Views on Prop 8
I've had this blog for a little while, but haven't known what to write about. Well, now that I've been engaged for a little over a week, I've been contemplating a lot on the sanctity of marriage and how significant it truly is. That being said, I finally know what to write about first.
As stated in the "Family: A Proclamation to the World," "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God." I know this to be true. I know that we have inspired leaders who gave us this remarkable council years before the calamities and attacks we are now faced with on the sanctity of marriage arose. We have known for over a decade now the principles taught in this sacred document. As I prepare to be married in early May, I have begun a careful study of this document in order to better understand my calling as a woman, wife, and future mother. As I have studied I have gained an immense appreciation for the divine calling of both the husband and the wife. Each of their roles is essential to the sustaining of a healthy and wonderful family.
Why is this so important today? First of all, divorce rates are disturbingly high in our current civilization. Many couples believe that getting married is great and wonderful, but isn't it nice to know that when things get a little hard, there's always the back door of divorce to escape through? Even worse is when a couple decides that before they make the significant leap into marriage, it is acceptable to embark in a "trial" period by simply living together. On top of that, many of these latter couples have a child out of wedlock, confusing the child from its very birth. How tragic that this has become the norm in society. It is child abuse to not give a proper home to a sweet, beautiful infant, who came into this world perfect and divine. That child deserves a family to be raised in, where he or she is nurtured and treasured by a loving mother, and honored and strengthened by an adoring father. This is God's plan, and it is perfect.
The culminating and most disgusting attack on the family today is now the subject of great debate in California, and the rest of the United States: that of legalizing same sex marriage. What a despicable idea that destroys everything the family stands for. Same sex marriage is a pinpoint attack on the family. It destroys the very center of God's plan. It is stating that mankind doesn't care about the Lord, and that they have every right to be selfish and choose to revel in their own terrible choices. Regardless of how the world views homosexuals, the Lord does not approve and does not honor it. It is contrary to his plan. Why do you think he created males and females in such a way so as to create a physical bond between them strong enough that they can literally fit together and become "one flesh?" To arose those same chemical feelings with two members of the same sex is a foolish mockery providing only temporary satisfaction. It is disturbing and wrong.
While it is understandable that same sex attraction is real and can be a powerful temptation in a person's life, that does not make it excusable nor give it the right to be tolerated. As a Latter-Day-Saint, I have been taught to love the sinner, but hate the sin. Just as an alcoholic struggles with putting down the bottle, so should the man or women who struggles with same sex attraction. We do not roll out the red carpet to the alcoholic and allow him to drink to his heart's content with no consequences. Rather we rally behind him, give him support to quit the terrible habit that is ruining his life, and punish inappropriate behavior. We invite him to change, and to free himself from the awful chain that is his addiction to alcohol. Why is a homosexual any different? It is a very real temptation, but embracing it, and then enforcing a law on others to embrace it is madness. It is as disturbing as creating a law allowing a sex-offender the right to walk around a school full of young children as often as he would like, and sue the parents that attempt to pull their child out of class.
If Proposition 8 isn't passed, religions may be sued for their belief in not honoring same sex marriage. Books will be read to children embracing the concept of homosexual relationships. Adoption agencies that do not support same sex marriage will have to withdraw their services or be forced to allow an innocent child to be given to an unethical relationship. It will have devastating consequences. We can and should love those who struggle with same sex attraction, but we can not and should not embrace their sinful choices. No matter what the world says, it will not change the fact that God's law is universal, and he will not be mocked.
As stated in the "Family: A Proclamation to the World," "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God." I know this to be true. I know that we have inspired leaders who gave us this remarkable council years before the calamities and attacks we are now faced with on the sanctity of marriage arose. We have known for over a decade now the principles taught in this sacred document. As I prepare to be married in early May, I have begun a careful study of this document in order to better understand my calling as a woman, wife, and future mother. As I have studied I have gained an immense appreciation for the divine calling of both the husband and the wife. Each of their roles is essential to the sustaining of a healthy and wonderful family.
Why is this so important today? First of all, divorce rates are disturbingly high in our current civilization. Many couples believe that getting married is great and wonderful, but isn't it nice to know that when things get a little hard, there's always the back door of divorce to escape through? Even worse is when a couple decides that before they make the significant leap into marriage, it is acceptable to embark in a "trial" period by simply living together. On top of that, many of these latter couples have a child out of wedlock, confusing the child from its very birth. How tragic that this has become the norm in society. It is child abuse to not give a proper home to a sweet, beautiful infant, who came into this world perfect and divine. That child deserves a family to be raised in, where he or she is nurtured and treasured by a loving mother, and honored and strengthened by an adoring father. This is God's plan, and it is perfect.
The culminating and most disgusting attack on the family today is now the subject of great debate in California, and the rest of the United States: that of legalizing same sex marriage. What a despicable idea that destroys everything the family stands for. Same sex marriage is a pinpoint attack on the family. It destroys the very center of God's plan. It is stating that mankind doesn't care about the Lord, and that they have every right to be selfish and choose to revel in their own terrible choices. Regardless of how the world views homosexuals, the Lord does not approve and does not honor it. It is contrary to his plan. Why do you think he created males and females in such a way so as to create a physical bond between them strong enough that they can literally fit together and become "one flesh?" To arose those same chemical feelings with two members of the same sex is a foolish mockery providing only temporary satisfaction. It is disturbing and wrong.
While it is understandable that same sex attraction is real and can be a powerful temptation in a person's life, that does not make it excusable nor give it the right to be tolerated. As a Latter-Day-Saint, I have been taught to love the sinner, but hate the sin. Just as an alcoholic struggles with putting down the bottle, so should the man or women who struggles with same sex attraction. We do not roll out the red carpet to the alcoholic and allow him to drink to his heart's content with no consequences. Rather we rally behind him, give him support to quit the terrible habit that is ruining his life, and punish inappropriate behavior. We invite him to change, and to free himself from the awful chain that is his addiction to alcohol. Why is a homosexual any different? It is a very real temptation, but embracing it, and then enforcing a law on others to embrace it is madness. It is as disturbing as creating a law allowing a sex-offender the right to walk around a school full of young children as often as he would like, and sue the parents that attempt to pull their child out of class.
If Proposition 8 isn't passed, religions may be sued for their belief in not honoring same sex marriage. Books will be read to children embracing the concept of homosexual relationships. Adoption agencies that do not support same sex marriage will have to withdraw their services or be forced to allow an innocent child to be given to an unethical relationship. It will have devastating consequences. We can and should love those who struggle with same sex attraction, but we can not and should not embrace their sinful choices. No matter what the world says, it will not change the fact that God's law is universal, and he will not be mocked.
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