Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I Have Confidence in Me!

One of my favorite musicals of all time is "The Sound of Music." I've seen that movie countless times. In fact, as a little girl I didn't even know it was called "The Sound of Music." I grew up calling it, "Mom's favorite movie." One of the songs from the musical is entitled, "I Have Confidence." Upon first watching it's usually one of the pieces that is easily forgotten sized up against, "My Favorite Things," Sixteen Going on Seventeen," and "Climb Every Mountain." However, recently I've come to love that song and everything it stands for. Most importantly, I've learned that I too, have confidence.

I have confidence in my education. I have studied, laboured, stretched and sweat towards earning a degree that I can be proud of. Most importantly, I believe, I have learned how to learn. Because of the home I grew up in, I have always had a passion for reading, and that has fed my continuous desire to learn, even if that desire will never extend towards picking up another math or science book again. Ever.

I have confidence in my ability to appear and act professional. I've been noticing a gradual change towards appearing more mature and ready to enter an adult world. I've been slowly ditching the dozens of t-shirts in my drawers, wearing more shirts with collars or sweaters. For the past year now I've established my own business complete with a license, my own contract, references, and portfolio of contented clients. I'm learning to stand tall and speak up, even if it is to someone three times my age.

I have confidence in my charismatic personality. One of the best gifts I have been given is the ability to be pleasantly amiable. I used to think that it was just because I'm pretty, and I used it mostly to my advantage in the dating game, often going on several dates a week. Yesterday however, in a personal revelation, I realized that I have been given this gift of charity and an immense passion for life to bless others. I've always known I have a bubbly personality, but I've finally made the connection that it is a gift. I can lift others all around me in a very short amount of time. What a blessing. I am understanding more now what it means to "mourn with those that mourn, [and] comfort those that stand in need of comfort." -Mosiah 18: 9

Finally, I have confidence in my knowledge the Savior, and of his divine Atonement. I have always understood and known that Jesus Christ suffered for my sins and transgressions. I know that by coming to Him and dropping my burden at his feet I can be clean. But my true and most fervent understanding of the Atonement occurred about a year and a half ago, in July of 2007. I had reached a point in my life where I had to choose what was more important to me: The despair I felt from my consistently bad choices, or the embarrassment of confessing them and following the Lord no matter what the painful consequences might be. I remember thinking, "Nothing could be worse than the way I feel right now. I want to be healed. I've had enough." And then two very distinct phrases came into my mind. One was by Neil L. Anderson stating, "It's true isn't it? Then what else matters?" The other was from the hymn, "I Believe in Christ" stating, "I believe in Christ, so come what may." I knew that I had made my choice. I took everything I believed in and stepped into the dark, not knowing what I would have to face for my previous decisions. The transformation was miraculous. I knew the Savior suffered for my sins, but now I also knew and understood that Christ suffered for my pains too. He literally took it all away, and I felt the immense burden of my condemnation released. I am clean. Every wit. I know that all of us as children of our Heavenly Father have the ability to feel that change. I know because I have felt it believing like Alma that I was "the very vilest of sinners." Yet through Christ, I am "harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more." What has taken the place of all of that guilt and sorrow is love. And because I am filled with love, "as you can see I have Confidence in me!"

3 comments:

  1. As your sister, I can second that you have all these wonderful qualities, and I'm proud of you.

    Next article topic, the beauty in modesty!

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  2. Wonderful post. And it is all true. Your summation is powerful and right to the point: because you are filled with love, you have confidence.

    Reminds me of two passages in the scriptures. The first was from Mormon, expressed in the midst of the troubles of the melt down of his civilization: "I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear. And I am filled with charity, which is everlasting love" (Moro. 8:16,17).

    The second is from the Doctrine and Covenants: "Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God" (D&C 121:45).

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  3. Thank you for your comments. I always appreciate them. Those scriptures are wonderful, Dad. I espeically love D&C 121. I usually remember the reference of "let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly," but I had forgotten that he concludes with, "then shall thy confidence wax strong." What a beautiful promise.

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