Singing to my Baby

I can't believe Ryan is almost two months already. How did all of that go by so quickly?! He's growing so fast I can almost watch it happening. Since his return home from the hospital, he has settled down into a much calmer baby. At first because of his traumatic birth he was very fussy, crying several hours a day. However, now that he's assimilating to the comfort of his new home he's much more relaxed, only getting fussy when it's time to eat, change a diaper, or he doesn't feel like going to bed. I fall more and more in love with him every day. He smiles and coos all the time, and waves his little arms and legs everywhere. He's already reached his two month milestones way ahead of schedule, and recognizes Mommy or Daddy by giving us great, big, open-mouthed smiles. It's so adorable.

As a quick update on my health, I'm much better. I received permission from my doctor to begin exercising moderately, and returning back to normal things. It's slow work, but being able to do things on my own has done so much for my mental health. I cried last week when I was able to clean my own kitchen by myself (minus the mopping; I still can't sweep, mop, or vacuum til around Christmas). This past week I was able to pull on and yes, even button up, my pre-pregnancy jeans. I still have a baby bulge over top of them, but it was exhilarating anyway. I've shown no signs of postpartum depression, so overall I'm looking good!

As the days go by with Mommy and Ryan staying at home, we do a lot of singing. We sing when he's happy, sad, trying to go to sleep, learning about Jesus, playing, etc. There isn't a day when I'm not doing about 2-3 hours of singing with my baby. It reminded me of the years in college I spent singing that much. I'd spend hours in the practice rooms, in lessons and recitals, all trying to get my voice to sound beautiful. I realized the other day that as I've been singing to my baby my voice has never sounded clearer or more beautiful. Without even trying my vowels are rounded, my tone is lovely, and I'm holding pitches perfectly. In the past that took great effort and concentration, but now without even thinking about it I'm achieving the same results. I'm not sure why that is, but I have a theory.

I feel that this is one of the blessings my Heavenly Father has given me for being a mother. As wonderful as it is, it's a very draining job. I spend all day and all night in the same house, careing for my baby's every need, often on no sleep. It can be very hard to feel fulfilled as a person when you're trapped at home without a car and very little adult interaction. But when I'm holding my sweet baby boy and singing to him I feel very fulfilled as a mother, and a human being. I feel I've never had a more appreciative audience as Ryan smiles and me and nestles closer in my arms. I feel like the sacrifices I'm making are small compared to the joy I feel to comfort and bless my baby with the talents I've been given. I know it's one way Heavenly Father shows his deep love for me and my son.

While I'm sure I'll be blessed with many opportunities in this life to sing for others and use my talents, I feel my greatest audience will always be the one resting gently in my arms, drifting off to sleep.