God Moves in a Mysterious Way

These past two weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind of trials and blessings. I've further realized, as I've always known, keeping the Lord's commandments is the safest road. I have seen time and time again that if we are doing what the Lord asks of us, we will be fine. If we are not, we won't be ready when life's storms fall upon us, as they can and always do.

It all began on Monday, June 7th. I had a final dentist appointment in a series of long, painful appointments to fix several cavities since becoming pregnant. One of the teeth had been given a root canal weeks prior, which sucked up my entire dental coverage for the year. I still had seven fillings needed, all to be paid out of pocket. Brenton and I had been keeping our emergency savings in tact, a lesson learned from our parents and latter-day prophets, so we were covered. "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear" (D&C 30:38) we thought, and so I went in for the appointment. After a few hours of intense pain and tears, the fillings were done, and the month-long ordeal finally over. Puffy and swollen I went to pay the bill. In an act of mercy we found that it would only cost 15% of what we had originally planned. I was overwhelmed by the Lord's love for us, and grateful that we did not have to dip into our savings at all.

We contemplated that night over Family Home Evening why the Lord let us keep that money. We saw it as a tender mercy and expressed sincere gratitude to Him. We did not know at the time how much we would need that funding later.

Friday of that week, June 11th, I was in my very first car accident. I miscalculated for one second, another driver did not watch the road, and 10 seconds later I was hit on both sides, pulled over on the road in complete shock. It was absolutely terrifying, and I remember the instant feeling of monumental regret and shame. Miraculously, no one was hurt, or issued a citation. Brenton raced over from work as I dealt with the damage, questions by police authority, and panic because I couldn't feel my baby kicking. Looking back now, I see how the Lord completely numbed my emotions allowing me to answer and deal with the situation until Brenton could be there. Then he dealt with calling our insurance, getting the car towed, and getting a rental car. Husbands are amazing for those kinds of things.

I've never been so grateful for auto insurance. They were wonderful every step of the process. I was still a nervous wreck after leaving the accident, and couldn't close my eyes without reliving what happened. It was pouring rain at the time and I hadn't eaten in several hours. We received help everywhere we needed it, and I was able to get food, then get to the doctor's office to check on our baby. It wasn't until the nurse placed the doppler on my belly and told me Ryan's heartbeat was just fine that I finally broke down into body shaking sobs. Anything else I could handle, now that I knew he was just fine.

As the next few days passed I mostly struggled with an overwhelming shroud of guilt and regret. "If I'd only done this," or "why couldn't I have just done that." I was so grateful that Brenton forgave me instantly and the only person left for forgive was myself. I poured my heart out in prayer begging for the ability to emotionally move on and get past it. As I prayed I was lead to the words of the hymn, "God Moves in a Mysterious Way." The verse that meant the most to me was this. "Ye fearful Saints, fresh courage take; the clouds ye so much dread, are big with mercy and shall break, in blessings on your head." My mind was opened to see where the Lord had blessed us every step of the way, and I was able to let go of the guilt in myself. It was a powerful step in moving on.

Earlier this week we learned that our car was assessed as a total loss, even though it was still drivable. While that brought on a whole new wave of guilt for me, we took it for what it was and began to look for a new car. In yet another blessing, we were given far more from the insurance than we were expecting, allowing us to place a significant down payment. Wednesday, June 16th, we were driving home in a new car within our financial means. It's a wonderful car, and we are very pleased with it.

And so I sit here, a full week later from the accident, reflecting on how smooth the week has gone. I've once again learned that we were blessed because we were doing the right things beforehand. The Lord knows us, is aware of our circumstances, and loves us dearly. He will protect and take care of us. He knows we're not perfect. I had no idea we would need that money from the dentist towards purchasing a new car, but the Lord did. Since we cannot predict our lives, we need to do everything we can to keep His Spirit and guiding influence with us. So that when the "mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall" (Helaman 5:12). For me, those storm clouds were ones filled with mercy, that did, indeed, break with blessings on my head.