He Gave me Wings

It's 74 days until I get married, and to me it can't come soon enough. I didn't know I could ever be this happy. I used to dream about it in high school, but as I started college those dreams vanished and by the time I was half-way through I felt I would never have the life I imagined as a little girl.

In a previous post I wrote about an experience that gave me my testimony of Jesus Christ's infinite atonement. After that experience, I once again believed that I could have "every good thing." That doesn't mean I wouldn't be given trials along the way, but I believed my happiness would only increase as I strove to follow Christ's teachings and live worthily to receive His promised blessings. As I began to realign my life with the gospel, I remembered a quote from Sister Hinckley that she said about her husband, President Gordon B. Hinckley. She stated, "He gave me wings." I wondered if that would even be possible. I had never dated a boy that made me feel like that. I often felt my opinions were never validated, and that if I wanted to go out on a limb or try something new, it was either completely out of the question or I had to ask for permission. I began pouring over my patriarchal blessing to find information about the man I would marry if I stayed true to my covenants. I prayed that if I held true to the promises I had made with the Lord, He would give me those blessings in His own time.

November 5th, 2007 I met a boy in the library. Much like the kind and good elders of Israel I had been dating all semester, he was courteous and sweet as we struck up a friendship. We dated casually for a few weeks, and I began to see qualities in him that I had only dreamed about. Suddenly, my opinions mattered, and as I spoke about dreams and desires that I wanted, he gladly encouraged me to shoot for them. I often wondered those first few months, "Is this real? You mean, this kind of boy exists? And he's interested in me?"

As time passed we began to date steadily and I started to realize that everything in my life was better. I felt so free, like I could do anything and he would be supportive. My family was supportive, my friends were supportive. I didn't know that I could be on the same page with everyone. I had never felt so beautiful. He was so attentive to me. Everything I said mattered. Every emotion I felt was understood. For the first time, I could be myself, and since I'd never dated someone before who let me be that way, I finally learned who "myself" really was. I wanted to be my best self around him not because he expected it of me, but because I expected it of myself just from being around him. He helped me achieve goals I never thought I would reach. I watched both of us slowly become the people that we always saw in each other. It was even a physical change. I literally saw my countenance become brighter. The contrast in photos was startling. I was beginning to learn what love truly is: complete selflessness. In a word, charity.

And now I am going to be a wife! I am going to be sealed for time and all eternity. I will be able to spend the rest of forever with the person that I love most. And because we both have lived up to the qualifications of worthiness, the covenants that we will make will bind us not only to each other, but to our sweet children that we will someday have. What a magnificent promise.

I sit here and type this looking at my glittering left hand that shines with so much symbolism. As I gaze at the heart-shaped diamond with three others on each side, I see a heart that has taken flight. I now know what sweet Sister Hinckley meant when she said, "He gave me wings!"